About Me

A slightly over-educated sailor sharing the wet and dry sides of his life.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Go Do The Voodoo That You Do So Well

Friday, July 24, 2009
6:23 PM
Whoa! Stop the presses! We have strange developments here. Someone has
been putting salt on the refrigeration engineer's seat in the mess hall.
Apparently, this was discovered a few days ago by Rocky Balboa, the Day
Junior engineer, and has been happening everyday since. I found out today,
because Bosun Norm asked me if I was the one who was doing it. Of course,
it wasn't me. However, I suspect it might be the cook.
You see, a couple of weeks ago, the cook had an altercation with Reeferman
Brian. This was stupid, because it started when Cecilio plated some food
and handed it over behind himself, to his right, to get across the steam
table. Well, Brian had moved from that spot over to the salad bar, which
was to the left of Cecilio and where he couldn't see Brian. That was when
it started. Brian then said, "I'm over here. What? Are you stupid or
something?" From there, Brian continued berating Cecilio, even challenging
him to "take it outside." Since I was there, I thought it prudent to say,
"Take it easy, gentlemen" a couple of times over. As far as getting between
them, well, that could also give one of them some kind of added motivation
to up the ante. I've seen that kind of bullshit before, so I know enough to
keep my bodily parts separate from the action. However, should fists come
up, it would then be time to jump in. Actually, that isn't true. It would
be better to let a few blows get thrown, so that both the bums would get
fired. If a knife came out, well, that would be a different story.
Anyway, given all that, I got to wondering if the salt could be some kind of
voodoo-type gesture. I know that salt is used in many cultures to ward off
evil spirits. In Japan, sumo wrestlers toss a handful of salt to purify the
ring before entering. Perhaps in Caribbean Santeria it could have a similar
role in magic ritual. Since the cook is from Puerto Rico and the only
person who could be holding a grudge against Brian, I felt it a safe bet
that he had to be the one. When I proposed this to the Deck Gang, boy, did
the guys light up with excitement! I guess I really must have made their
day with that idea. You see, the whole Caribbean voodoo grudge thing made
perfect sense. That's why they sailors loved it so much: A perfect sea
story in the making! Now I can't help but wonder if someone is going to
break the news to Reeferman Brian. Awesome! I only say that because I'd
rather have someone try black magic than pull a knife.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Other Events and Updates
A couple of days ago, Bosun Norm encountered a mystery liquid out on deck.
He made the mistake of touching and smelling it in an attempt to identify
it. The result was burning in the sinuses and lungs, as well as skin
irritation. In an attempt to wash it off, the substance spread to his face.
Redness and swelling ensued. Since the ship didn't have any means of
identifying the possible culpret, beyond a HAZMAT category listing, it must
have been at least three days before the company was able to provide an
answer. It turned out the liquid was pepper spray. Too bad Norm doesn't do
hot sauce on a regular basis. But seriously, it's a good thing it was no
more than that. The sailors will be taking precautions as we washdown the
decks today.
By the way, we cleared the Strait of Gibralter this morning. Too bad it
happened before my watch. Considering the westbound side of the voyage puts
us closer to The Rock, it would have been a great for a photo opportunity.
Maybe next trip?

1 comment:

--Karen H said...

Dave, I have to ask...why would anyone think you would be the sort to salt someone's mess hall seat?